Depression had a grip deep inside Kay’s heart and mind. Things she had experienced in the past seemed too overwhelming to fix herself. Read how Jesus lovingly led Kay to the right place for support and treatment to receive her healing.
When I became a Christian. The Lord bought me through depression.
He has revealed himself over and over as a miracle worker.
To understand how good God is and how He heals is to sometimes live through difficult circumstances. My background, like many, came from a childhood where my parents had split.
When I was 10 years old, my parents separated and I was put into a home with my young sister for 12 months. My brother was only six and he was sent to another home. I felt hopeless and rejected. Being in this home was difficult. It was a big house run by the church however it gave me the wrong perspective of who God is. It was at this time I decided if there was a God, I was not going to have anything to do with Him. I decided this in my young heart as the people who looked after us, would punish me by locking me in a dark room.
After 12 months, Dad got my sister and myself out of this house and my brother from the other house and we moved into a place with our Dad.
Years later at the age of 34, I knew something was not right and I knew I had not recovered from all that took place during the time in this house. Then one morning, Jesus came into my lounge room and revealed to me who He is and so I began a new season in my life with Him. It was a time to be healed.
It was Easter 1980 as I sat watching a TV interview, the Host asked the Baptist Minister “How do you know Jesus is real?” The Minister replied, “We live today and in this moment in time yet all of history is gauged by Jesus’ time, His life and death and resurrection.” In this moment I had a feeling in my body and a revelation in my mind. I was moved by the Holy Spirit; I knew Jesus was real and that night, I asked Jesus into my heart.
I knew He was a miracle working God too! Everything changed when I accepted Jesus into my heart. I was trying to conceive a child for 16 years without results.
I prayed, “Jesus, may I have a child or take away this desire to have one."
In three months, I was pregnant with my first child and my daughter was born the following Easter.
I bought a Bible and devoured it and knew every word was true however I did not want to go to church. This was possibly because of the judgement I had made when I was a child about who God is.
Time passed and with thoughts about my now five-year-old daughter’s future, I started to attend a Holy Spirit filled church. Then after six months, I began to feel an emotional pull and suffered a nervous break-down and had to have treatment for deep depression.
The Lord, knew I needed to be healed emotionally and with love bought me to the right place at the right time and with the right people to help me through this.
God made a way to be healed by leading me to this Holy Spirit filled church. Before this, hurt and turmoil was sitting like concrete inside of me. This was too big to describe or to work through with my own resources.
The support the Pastors and the church family offered for myself and my family through this healing process was truly loving and remarkable.
After a time of medical treatment and prayer support, I got to the place where God impressed on me not to look to others for my sense of self-worth but instead to look to Him.
I then went through a time when I studied the book of Job and Psalms and learned first-hand my worth is in Him. I would write out scriptures and stick them up all over the place to help me to remember and to speak His word regularly.
Three scriptures special to me during my time of healing included-
The first scripture the Lord led me to was, “All things work together for good for those who love Him.” Romans 8:28. I held onto this like a life raft for some time and He made a way for me to walk through a deeply emotional time.
I was holding on to this scripture when I first became unwell and I held onto this for ten years. All things work together for good; all things work together for good. These are the words my heart began to understand as I held onto this scripture, like I was clinging to life.
I knew Jesus was the only way to get me through this as I had lost touched with reality.
The second scripture, “Jesus came to give life and life more abundantly.” John 10:10.
During the years of living with depression episodes from 1986 to 1996, I was taken to hospital for treatment five times. Through this Jesus led the way with the right people for support. Then one day He dropped His truth into my heart and mind with His word, John 10:10.
I would often repeat and think about the second part to this scripture, “He came to give me Life abundance.”
I was holding on to it for some time, thinking about it and speaking it and then one afternoon the Spirit of God moved and I began to laugh at the revelation of the meaning of Life abundance. This is the day I walked away from depression for good.
The third scripture is the one scripture that reassured me how much He knows me. “I have heard about you by the hearing of my ear and now my eyes see you.” Job 42:5 - Through meditating, thinking often and continually spending time in His word, I am changed and forever reminded of God’s love and over time I have gained a real knowing from within. No longer are they only words, “He knows me and sees me and is close to me.”
It is now 23 years since I walked out of depression and today, I enjoy a good family life. There have been times I was ashamed of the past for having to be in hospital for treatment. And sometimes I get a niggle from the enemy trying to get me to think in the old way but now, I know and trust God and I know that He loves me and I experience this when I look to Him and the truth in His word.
Romans 12:2 is the perfect reminder, His word renews the mind and brings our thinking back in line with Him.Jesus is His word, the living Christ. This Jesus, I have discovered is great!
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove that what is that good and acceptable will of God.”
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